Seriously, looking for a third roommate to live with me on 100th and Lexington, if you know any people, you know who to call! Ideally, here is my list of criteria/ qualities that I am looking for my future roommie to possess.
1. Attractive Male within the age range of 22-25
2. No hair longer than mine..
3. Strong muscles to help me move my furniture around.. and I guess your own furniture
4. Must have a sense of humor.. but must not be funnier than me
5. Preferably 5'7'' - 6'5'
6. Must kill all spiders.. insects.. etc on command (ex: at 4am when I wake up for work)
I guess these are also criteria for a potential boyfriend so that being said
7. Must be single / willing to fall in love with me
If the above can not happen.. I am willing to accept anyone who is willing to pay rent.. so we're dealing with a pretty broad spectrum right now.
The apartment is super easy to get to for anyone who isn't me. Clearly I'm still learning the ropes of the increase number streets because I befriended a nice woman in my potential new neighborhood who actually walked me to my address because I was THAT lost. I even had my GPS navigation on my phone working, but apparently that doesn't like me either.
I haven't blogged in a while, but don't think for one second that mildly hilarious things have not happened. Today, for instance was apparently the '30 day' mark of me living at the Waldorf.. How do I know? They shut my key card access off. I had a mini laugh attack because why WOULDN'T that happen to me. I was sure my bags were laying somewhere in a bin in the garage and I'd be living in the nicely insulated card-board boxes that FedEx would supply for me (yes.. I already asked them, but clearly as a joke, I didn't know it had the potential to turn into reality)
In other funny news, it's nice to know that the people of NYC still have a sense of humor, but more importantly a helping hand. While I was too busy laughing quietly to myself after watching a woman eat shit after falling down the subway stairs, a nice man came to her rescue to help her up from her utter embarrassment.
In the past week I got my dry cleaning done.. by the valet service...for free. Clearly I was shocked when my underwear came in a boxed package with tissue paper and a bow around it, but I guess that's what you expect when you pay 212 dollars for underwear, 3 shirts and a pair of shorts. #nothingbutthebestforbecka
Oh! And I also surprised my family down in Delaware this past weekend because I had off. My cab driver was a bit 'out of the ordinary' mainly because it was a black service car (clearly didn't care because I was dealing with a bus deadline) and I paid 25 dollars to have him ask questions about past and previous boyfriends. Basically for 25 dollars I got a dating hotline number and he wanted to give my number to 1 of his 8 sons.. I like those odds.
I was JUST about to make my 5:04 bus when he dropped me off at Penn Station (where I told him to drop me off)... Only to be laughed at by hot cops who told me this station was only for trains, and that Port Authority was where I go to catch the bus. #stupidbecka.. A nice police officer was going there anyway so we took a nice little bumpy ride on the Subway and then we will never see each other again. Made the next bus on time to first get home.. to be dropped off at my house.. to pick up my car.. and to basically go NASCAR speeds to get to Rehoboth. I did the signature simon sneak attack (just made up that name but plan to copyright it) on my parents who in turn, balled their eyes out because apparently ''family vacation just wasn't the same without becka''
UHM DUH! Of course it wasn't... I'm the funny one
Monday, July 9, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
I put the NEW in NEW YORK CITY
Well, well, well, the third time's a charm when it comes to writing blogs because this one is definitely a knee slapper. As you all know by know, I start my day nice and early at the ass crack of dawn. Maybe a little even before because I often find myself beating the sun in the 'rise and shine' competition. I also start my day with my own rendition of 'what elevators should I take.' There's the 2 guest elevators, which both stop at completely different floors, the employee high rise, mid rise and low rise elevators. I have to take the low rise to check the 4th floor but somehow do a little transfer when it comes to going all the way up to the 18th floor. Everyone in the elevators thinks I'm crazy because as soon as I find out it doesn't go to that floor, I play the random game of get off on whatever floor it stops on next, #classicbecka.
After work hours (around 5pm) is when I change into my oh-so-chic 'street clothes' but often forget to change out of my 'smile at every guest' mentality. Guest checking in think I legitimately have a starring problem, but oh well. Be nice or get out. Saying 'Hello' to everyone walking by, even on the streets has become a second nature. *ACCIDENTALLY* (I swear) I said hello to a gorgeous blue eyed man who I hope didn't think I was weird. It's all about laying down the groundwork. I'm working on it.
In the realm of 'names', when the florist asked my name, naturally I said "Rebecca." Clearly he has a hearing problem because he called me FERNANDA all night long. ultimate awardness. I guess it caught on because all of the servers started to ask my nationality. When they found out that I wasn't Italian or Spanish they nearly shit themselves because they told me I look native to both cultures... uhmm ok? thanks?
Drew and I took a little (rather long) walk up, around, and through Times Square. We decided that since we live in New York, we should do all of the touristy things. Like the M&M factory, Toys R Us, and of course, my personal favorite, taking a picture of the Naked Cowboy. If you are looking for some entertainment let me know because I also have a picture of his butt... (your welcome) I also got to take a picture with a SMURF (and for those of you who know my spring break story... the smurf is pretty self explanatory)
The ULTIMATE highlight of the day was getting to witness a man steal a pair of sneakers from the NBA store. We thought he had bought them and that he was just so excited to wear them that he was running out of the door with joy (hahahah so naive) the store clerk tried to yell and call after him but clearly the man was a professional. In the same store another little demon child had the same name as me.. (Becka.. not Fernanda) Awesome that she has the same name.. bad for the fact that when her mother screamed her name my heart dropped with excitement because I thought I knew someone.
The dreaded apartment search- everyone in my department at work thinks that I will be going to look at an apartment tomorrow that is centrally located....to the GHETTO/PROJECTS so I'll be keeping my eyes open. If ya know anyone looking for a roommate, subletter, LIVE-IN BFF, hook a sister up! I'm now looking at apartments in Astoria but feel super lame that the town I could potientially be living in, is the same as the hotel that I am working for... #DESTINY
Oh and another funny / 'what is your life Becka' moment today.... attempting to order BREAKFAST for dinner with room service. (not a good idea, future reference) but that still didn't stop me.
If you want to hang out slash find me around the hotel vicinity.. make sure to check 49th and Madison because it's been known (by me) to be the jew junction. I LOVE IT, so many sexy Hasidics. They all eat at the restaurant up the street and it's just a huge yamakah fest.. I may have to whip mine out and show these women how it's done. I have plenty of jewish related pick up lines are are a sure way to pull in the kosher keeper.
...hope you're all looking forward to my next blog because I actually enjoy being funny via cyber space
After work hours (around 5pm) is when I change into my oh-so-chic 'street clothes' but often forget to change out of my 'smile at every guest' mentality. Guest checking in think I legitimately have a starring problem, but oh well. Be nice or get out. Saying 'Hello' to everyone walking by, even on the streets has become a second nature. *ACCIDENTALLY* (I swear) I said hello to a gorgeous blue eyed man who I hope didn't think I was weird. It's all about laying down the groundwork. I'm working on it.
In the realm of 'names', when the florist asked my name, naturally I said "Rebecca." Clearly he has a hearing problem because he called me FERNANDA all night long. ultimate awardness. I guess it caught on because all of the servers started to ask my nationality. When they found out that I wasn't Italian or Spanish they nearly shit themselves because they told me I look native to both cultures... uhmm ok? thanks?
Drew and I took a little (rather long) walk up, around, and through Times Square. We decided that since we live in New York, we should do all of the touristy things. Like the M&M factory, Toys R Us, and of course, my personal favorite, taking a picture of the Naked Cowboy. If you are looking for some entertainment let me know because I also have a picture of his butt... (your welcome) I also got to take a picture with a SMURF (and for those of you who know my spring break story... the smurf is pretty self explanatory)
The ULTIMATE highlight of the day was getting to witness a man steal a pair of sneakers from the NBA store. We thought he had bought them and that he was just so excited to wear them that he was running out of the door with joy (hahahah so naive) the store clerk tried to yell and call after him but clearly the man was a professional. In the same store another little demon child had the same name as me.. (Becka.. not Fernanda) Awesome that she has the same name.. bad for the fact that when her mother screamed her name my heart dropped with excitement because I thought I knew someone.
The dreaded apartment search- everyone in my department at work thinks that I will be going to look at an apartment tomorrow that is centrally located....to the GHETTO/PROJECTS so I'll be keeping my eyes open. If ya know anyone looking for a roommate, subletter, LIVE-IN BFF, hook a sister up! I'm now looking at apartments in Astoria but feel super lame that the town I could potientially be living in, is the same as the hotel that I am working for... #DESTINY
Oh and another funny / 'what is your life Becka' moment today.... attempting to order BREAKFAST for dinner with room service. (not a good idea, future reference) but that still didn't stop me.
If you want to hang out slash find me around the hotel vicinity.. make sure to check 49th and Madison because it's been known (by me) to be the jew junction. I LOVE IT, so many sexy Hasidics. They all eat at the restaurant up the street and it's just a huge yamakah fest.. I may have to whip mine out and show these women how it's done. I have plenty of jewish related pick up lines are are a sure way to pull in the kosher keeper.
...hope you're all looking forward to my next blog because I actually enjoy being funny via cyber space
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
The Early Bird is the First One in Starbucks
Although I've been a born and raised Dunkin Donuts drinker, I've recently had to hand over my coffee money to Starbucks. There's one located right across the street which makes for an easy coffee run at 5:30am.. oh wait not really 'easy' because by the time I get there at 5:24, they're not even OPEN YET! 5:30 marks the opening time of Starbucks where the bells ring and the choir sings in my head as the first thought of coffee runs through my mind. Today I was the VERY FIRST person to walk thru the doors and nothing has ever given me such pride. Of course I took a selfie picture of myself alone at 5:30, but that's besides the point.
Believe it or not, I found friends to go to bars with.. instead of sticking to my one woman wolf-pack. It's hard to find time to just 'hang' out at night because I know that no matter what time I get home..the alarm will still go off at 4:30am. (and 4:35am just incase I don't wake up to the first one)
Work so far has been SO much fun. It's a lot to memorize and I have so much more to learn. I recently completed an 18 hour online course (literally worse than an online college course for an entire semester)
Working such early hours definitely has its perks. I finish work around 4:30 pm. Since I'm not an old person, I can't just order free room service, take a bath and go to sleep. This is my free time to explore the wild ways of NYC. I walk around street after street like I was born and raised in NYC (which could either be a good or a bad thing) because when people as me for directions and I actually know how to get there my response is like 'yo betch how the eff did you not know that DUHHH you take the 6 train and transfer onto the M)' and then when I don't have the answer it's more like, (in a southern accent) 'I'm sorry y'all I just came hur for the weekend to see my cousins get married to each other'.
The dreaded apartment search is uhm.... coming along? I'm going on Thursday to view an apartment 50 blocks away that has everything I'd ever need (a bed and a shower) but for this price it'll be a sin if I didn't say yes right on the spot.
In other news, I'm 1 dollar richer (plus a few more since I just got paid for week one) I was aimlessly roaming the Avenues of America and lo and behold there is a dollar practically SCREAMING OUT BECKA! I awkardly find myself purposely bumping into good looking men in suits on their way home from work just to make some subtle eye contact... you know, laying down the ground work. Maybe if they walk by me everyday and boom I bump into them everyday.. they will either think I have a problem or be like woah whose that chick that has no sense of coordination. It's a constant give and take.
In more 'free' news, I received a free Build-A-Bear, Vera Bradley shopping bag, a Free People Scarf and a Free People iPhone case.. today is a GOOD day. I also am an official work-woman now because I am now the owner of my very own work-issued blackberry... get at me... (but not really because it's only for work)
Believe it or not, I found friends to go to bars with.. instead of sticking to my one woman wolf-pack. It's hard to find time to just 'hang' out at night because I know that no matter what time I get home..the alarm will still go off at 4:30am. (and 4:35am just incase I don't wake up to the first one)
Work so far has been SO much fun. It's a lot to memorize and I have so much more to learn. I recently completed an 18 hour online course (literally worse than an online college course for an entire semester)
Working such early hours definitely has its perks. I finish work around 4:30 pm. Since I'm not an old person, I can't just order free room service, take a bath and go to sleep. This is my free time to explore the wild ways of NYC. I walk around street after street like I was born and raised in NYC (which could either be a good or a bad thing) because when people as me for directions and I actually know how to get there my response is like 'yo betch how the eff did you not know that DUHHH you take the 6 train and transfer onto the M)' and then when I don't have the answer it's more like, (in a southern accent) 'I'm sorry y'all I just came hur for the weekend to see my cousins get married to each other'.
The dreaded apartment search is uhm.... coming along? I'm going on Thursday to view an apartment 50 blocks away that has everything I'd ever need (a bed and a shower) but for this price it'll be a sin if I didn't say yes right on the spot.
In other news, I'm 1 dollar richer (plus a few more since I just got paid for week one) I was aimlessly roaming the Avenues of America and lo and behold there is a dollar practically SCREAMING OUT BECKA! I awkardly find myself purposely bumping into good looking men in suits on their way home from work just to make some subtle eye contact... you know, laying down the ground work. Maybe if they walk by me everyday and boom I bump into them everyday.. they will either think I have a problem or be like woah whose that chick that has no sense of coordination. It's a constant give and take.
In more 'free' news, I received a free Build-A-Bear, Vera Bradley shopping bag, a Free People Scarf and a Free People iPhone case.. today is a GOOD day. I also am an official work-woman now because I am now the owner of my very own work-issued blackberry... get at me... (but not really because it's only for work)
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Lil' BEXXX does NYC
So today was interesting to say the least. I had to do HR homework and write a letter to myself about where I want to be in the company in 30 days... naturally I said the top, but unfortunately it's not that easy. The city is fantastic, but sometimes a little overwhelming. I often find myself looking up...mainly at the street signs to count down the streets so I know for certain that I won't get lost. You'd think in a city so big with each street numbered in order it would be impossible to get lost..but think again.(But I'm also the girl that gets lost in a one square mile town) I also thought I knew a lot of people in NYC but turns out I guess I don't. I got off of work at 6:00pm which you may think is fairly early, but I guess it's only fair to get out early since I was there at 5:30am. I still have SO much to learn. It's really exciting because each day is something completely different. And once you think you've figured everything out, the plan changes and you have to adapt accordingly.
Now for the BEXXX part of this City Chic Blog. Well I guess I'm still a hopeless romantic, thinking that I'll casually walk into a crowded bar in my cute white shorts and black top, sit down, and as I'm about to order my drink- a handsome young fellow walks my way, picks up my tab and boom we get married, but I guess it doesn't work like that? I thought it would be nice to walk around the city after I got off of work. Some of the other people I work with don't get off of work until later tonight so I figured a nice loop around the block would be fun. I started thinking to myself ''How the hell am I going to meet someone if I'm spending so many hours at the hotel?!" And that's when it dawned on me.... GO GET A DRINK AT A BAR.. Granted at the time, I forgot I was walking aimlessly by myself. I must have circled the bar at least 4 times before I decided that I'd be a wuss if I didn't at least go in and have a drink.
Now is when I seriously start to re-evaluate my life...yes, I went into the bar, yes, I ordered a drink... NO I did not know anyone- but the answer to your question is yes....I chugged my beer and walked out 2 minutes later as if I had never been there. Serious LOL at my life.
I'm sure there are so many more hysterical stories to come, because let's face it...my life should be a sitcom, if you want to be a leading character don't be afraid to contact me.
Now for the BEXXX part of this City Chic Blog. Well I guess I'm still a hopeless romantic, thinking that I'll casually walk into a crowded bar in my cute white shorts and black top, sit down, and as I'm about to order my drink- a handsome young fellow walks my way, picks up my tab and boom we get married, but I guess it doesn't work like that? I thought it would be nice to walk around the city after I got off of work. Some of the other people I work with don't get off of work until later tonight so I figured a nice loop around the block would be fun. I started thinking to myself ''How the hell am I going to meet someone if I'm spending so many hours at the hotel?!" And that's when it dawned on me.... GO GET A DRINK AT A BAR.. Granted at the time, I forgot I was walking aimlessly by myself. I must have circled the bar at least 4 times before I decided that I'd be a wuss if I didn't at least go in and have a drink.
Now is when I seriously start to re-evaluate my life...yes, I went into the bar, yes, I ordered a drink... NO I did not know anyone- but the answer to your question is yes....I chugged my beer and walked out 2 minutes later as if I had never been there. Serious LOL at my life.
I'm sure there are so many more hysterical stories to come, because let's face it...my life should be a sitcom, if you want to be a leading character don't be afraid to contact me.
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